Review of Me and My Monkey in Liverpool

Well I've finished enough therapy that I think I can actually recount the story without breaking out in hives. (As a foreign immigrant that's escaped communist oppression, that's saying something!) It started simply enough. I was walking through a fleamarket and saw a CD by a group I thought looked quite interesting. Though I had never heard of the band the CD was quite striking in it's design. (plus it had like 23 songs on it, and I am all about cheap:) So I took this first effort by a clearly indi label by the name of Apple, home and put it in my walkman and was pleasantly surprised by the talent apparently contained within. Several of the songs were recorded poorly but I could tell that these boys had a spark of greatness. Now since I've been working as a club reporter for dallasmusic.com, monkey

Mr. Darin he always tells me: Hey boy (He calls me boy! I'm 41) What you need to do is find a band that no one has heard and get the word out to the people. You have got the responsibility to tell the people what rocks so that they can find it! It all depends on you to get these artists the exposure that the NAZI record execs wont allow. And then put two coats of wax on my Porsche. Always two coats never one. But I digress. Filled with confidence at my first effort of reviewing this new band, I rushed to the plush offices that house dallasmusic.com and burst in Mr. Darin's office. Boss (I always call him that cause we're tight.) I said: I found this new band now the songs are good but CD mix is pretty disjointed, the engineering is poor on some of the tracks, and some of the lyrics are trite: I.E. "All you need is love, love is all you need" what the hell does that mean? "You say yes, I say no, You say why, I say I don't know." I mean really. It was at that point that Mr. Darin said: "You idiot, you reviewed the Beatles?" I said: Mr. Darin, I know the name is stupid but the music overall is really quite good." Mr. Wakeley then proceeded to use words that I don't really understand but it was something about my mother being a dog, and that I was a "monkey feather"? Anyway he tells me all about the Beatles and that what I really need to do is to go and see the greatest tribute band in the world: "Me and My Monkey." I looked on the website and found that Me and my Monkey's next gig would be in Liverpool, England. I called the Boss and told him that I needed a ticket to Liverpool to review the band. So we jumped in Mr. Darin's Porsche Cayenne and drove to Houston. Once at the ship channel the Boss introduced me to a guy named Captain Dave who stared at me and smiled. Two weeks latter and seriously lacking both sleep and the skin on both hands, we arrived in Liverpool, England. I went up to the first person I saw and said: "Hey have you heard of the Beatles?" Fortunately she had. In fact her name was Helen Hanton she was the cousin of the original drummer for a band called the Quarrymen that John Lennon was in prior to the Beatles. She was so helpful, took me around and we went to this club called the Cavern. She told me that I had arrived about two weeks late for Beatle Feast, as it had occurred Sunday August 29th! Son of a bench! A day late and a Dolly short. Anyway a couple of scotch and sodas later she was telling me all about it. Rod had the crowd in stitches with his accent. Paul Sacco is a dead ringer for Paul McCartney! George is played by George so that makes it easy. They played at the Cavern club, Royal Court Theatre, and they apparently closed Castle St. and created a stage there. Everyone I talked to said that Me and My Monkey was the best Beatles Tribute band in the world! Hey they should know they grew up with this band! Support local music. Go see Me and My Monkey, and they are right here in DFW! So this is the lesson. If you don't want to get buggered up the juxey from a randy scouse gitt, don't cop a freebee on a tramp into Liverpool. Just wait till they play the Grill!